What Can We Do To Make You Stay?

Photo by Jonathan Petersson on Unsplash

"I'm resigning. I'll be wrapping up my work at the end of the month."

During the pandemic, I said these words. Strategically, financially, wisdom-wise - it probably didn't seem like a great call to make. But it was time.

"What can we do to make you stay?"

As I heard these words come down the phone line, I thought it was too late. Nothing. There is nothing at this point in the story that would make me stay.

You had your chance, and it's long gone.

What can we do to make you stay? Looking back, I've said these words myself too. I remember a fantastic team member - passionate, hard-working, and full of possibility - coming into my office to tender his resignation. I said, "What can I do to make you stay?"

Oh, how wrong I was.

When we're asking this question, someone on the receiving end of it has probably spent weeks or months on a journey out the door. The conversation where they tell us they're leaving - that's just a formality. They've already left.

They've withdrawn their passion. Their energy. Their discretionary input and innovation. We've already lost.

Grasping at straws, hoping for a turn-around, we throw a Hail Mary pass, "What can we do to make you stay?"

Stop.

What if we learned to genuinely ask "How are you?" more often? What if we learned to be more human?

What if we found ways to journey alongside our teams - understanding their struggles, celebrations, passions, and opportunities? What if we focused on people as real people?

An often repeated 'How are you?' is more effective than a "What can we do to make you stay?"

It doesn't cost us anything. It's a free question. (Okay, it might cost us something in the short term to be flexible and pivot to truly embrace people's lives and challenges and celebrations).

How are you?

I once gave someone on my team an extra day off after their elderly parent passed away. It was more than the law required and more than our internal policies dictated. So what?

For the measly price of a day's work, we showed someone in our team that we heard them. That their life mattered. That we understood. One day off.

That same staff member grew income in her team by 250% in the following year.

I'm glad I didn't have to ask, "What can I do to make you stay?"

So what's it going to be? How are you engaging with your team as people? As human beings with lives and interests, and passions.

What's the right question you're asking now so you're not asking the wrong question later?